Lunch with Brenda and Bert

One of life's little rewards came our way today.

A while ago I heard of a "Damsel in Distress" living not too far away from me.

The older sister of an Internet forum friend, was, according to her "little brother" Bert, having problems shifting her old washing machine. He lived way "darn sarf", and when I read Bert's posting, which described the way modern life was treating his sister, I made a few indiscreet enquiries and found that "Big Sister" lived just a few miles away from me, here in "Sunny Blyth"

After establishing what the problem was.... The Big, Bad, household goods company were willing to deliver a new washing machine to the lady, but because the wicked "Elf 'n' Safety" Ogre had laid a curse upon the delivery men if they so much as looked at the old machine, never mind disconnect and shift it, a state of impasse existed and Brenda looked like having to pay for the wicked Ogre to lift his curse!

So, girding my loins, ( I've often wondered, does a man gird left over right and a lady right over left? ) I sought the necessary permissions and after a couple of telephone calls which established my "Bona Fides" ( Latin for 'Fido's Bone', innit?) and a few days later, I met Brenda and surveyed the scene of the impasse.

The old machine was 'plumbed in' below the kitchen bench, hard up against the right hand wall on one side and the cooker on the other. Tool selection came next and I reached for my trusty seven iron, ( no, I was not about to emulate Tiger or Sevvy, merely that past experience with my washer, had taught me that an old club's angled face and long handle was just the job for "teasing" the heavy machine out from it's niche in the kitchen's built in 'White Goods' line up)

A couple of tentative wiggles secured the club's head below the machine's leading edge and then a more positive heave succeeded in lifting the machine and levering it out sufficiently for me to grip the top and ease the machine fully out. The water pipe connections were next in line and they came off and the loose ends plunged into a bucket to collect any dribbles. A couple more man sized heaves allowed me to reach the electrical connection, which was (thankfully) a simple removal of a plug from its socket....

Subsequent removal was fairly straightforward, "walking" the machine ( tip the machine back towards oneself so it rests on one lower edge, then tip further up until it rests on one corner. Then swing the machine around and forward and you are "Walking" a washing machine!).

Job done, I had a nice cuppa and a chat with Brenda and I took my leave, reporting success to Bert through the forums. A few days later came an invite for lunch at a time which would co-incide with Bert's next visit to the Frozen North.

Today was picked as suiting all parties and my wife and I had the pleasure of meeting Bert for the first time A very convivial afternoon followed an excellent lunch and the four of us chattered away as if we'd known each other for years.